fallin in love with a perfect fantasy

I never realize that what i feel right now is a perfect fantasy,,,n I put to much hope on that fantasy,,,that's why it's feel hurts a lot,,,now i know why i write on my book "don't hope to much or it will hurt u"

Even it was a fantasy or not i do feel happy,,glad i can feel it even just for a while,,glad that I've been treated special even it just a word,,never feel the real thing,,i don't want to forget or hate any one,,until now i can't think clear all were mix up on my head,,if i keep thinking of it i will destroy my self n i have to make a decision to hold my step,,stay put at one place collect a courage to end it


I always failed at the first attempt,,it always does,, no mater what is it i always failed,,but god also give me a second chance so i could fix everything up

when i made up my mind suddenly this cheer's come's again,,some happy feeling were back at me n fill my life again,,there is a big disappointment n sadness but at least my cheers are back coz in the last one month that cheers disappeared from my life,, i lough but not happy,, i smile but to covered my sadness,,but from now all off the cheers n smile were truth,,real n not fake (^_^)